When I was young I used to never question anything as reality. Now as an adult I know that monsters are very much real. I have seen the face of evil.
I have looked it in the eyes, and I've yelled "I dare you" in it's face.
With a smirk on his face, he dared. He tore my skin from my womb, made me shed all protective layers, showed me my own face at the bottom of the ocean before my last breathe would rise.
'Full of fire', he laughed. "get that from your mother" as he strolled away, parts of my soul in a locket... along with thousands more wrapped around his neck.
I laid swollen and defeated was flocked by voices. Dreamers, See-ers, and the such all surrounded me with a magnetic force, lifting me. "You know better". They sighed. A swift smack to my forehead to open my eye and toss me backward.
Cats always land on their feet.
"Close your eyes, close your eyes to see." I heard in a whispering chant.
See I did.
Her wrists gushing in the bathtub. "How fucking dare you" I shouted. "You know better", I cried.
As the car spiraled in three circles at the intersection, I remember the clouds being that perfect shade of cotton candy pink with a slight orange tint and smiling. It always made me think of when I was really young and we took walks together. I Love You. Three Squeezes.
I crawled from the car, I laid on the pavement. It started to rain. but the rain was little lockets gently falling from the sky. One in each hand, one for me and one for you.
I blinked and stood up and started running through a field of tall grass to get home.
The field I got poison sumac covering my body from. It itched so bad I still remember 24 years later.
I hid your locket in an opening under the heater vent by your bed, where the full moon would shine in. A man in white told me you'd find it there. But all I saw were a pair of sharp scissors.
I removed them and used them to cut my bangs short, my hair was wet so you got mad and scolded me. I looked stupid for a month....
But your wrists stopped bleeding... and the bath tub drained. You dried your hair and your eyes glistened again. When you weren't looking I snuck a peek. I cracked open your locket to see.
A ray of light engulfed the room and I fell back.
The clouds... and he smiled down on me. "Close your eyes to see..." he whispered.
I ran inside and held your hand... and squeezed it three times.
-Saree McClaran
June 29th 2013.
