We have torn ourselves to pieces to please others and reveal our insides.
Little do we know, and actually acknowledge that once we fit each of our pieces back into where they belong, we can complete ourselves.
Each section accurately placed, physical, emotional, spiritual, passion.
Find yourself.
Make mistakes while doing so.
Live.
Soft Breaths.
Open Windows.

-Saree McClaran

clock eye indians

I was moving out of some townhouse. There were a bunch of people there I felt that I didn't want them around me.
This one kid specifically was making me feel awkward, he was being pretty rude to me, and everyone was in my way as I was trying to carry all my bags to my car.
When I went back up the stairs the kid was standing in my room against the wall and goes "what is your problem with me?"
I felt weird because there wasn't any particular reason, he was just making me uncomfortable, I didn't even know him.
I said "you make me feel awkward, I don't know."
He got in my face and his one eye turned into a clock and I watched as the big hand spun quickly as well ans the little hand.
He said "Does it make you feel awkward to run out of time?"

and then I kept hearing indian music in my head and woke up to my alarm.

I dreamt I kept climbing a large ladder it seemed to never end. It was reddish pink.
The room was dark purple with little light.
I felt determined.
When I woke up, I felt I had not slept at all.

A woman was driving a car, I was passenger.
She started driving off a dock. I rolled my eyes and though "again?"
(I constantly have dreams where other people are driving me off into a body of water since a very very young age)
This time I yelled "Not this time" I grabbed the wheel and was in the drivers seat I swerved and car still veered and screeched the passenger side in the water. I kept stomping on the pedal to drive. I kept saying, "It's different and you can't take me back there again. This time I am in control."
Suddenly I was out of the car. It was on the edge, but not in the water.

There was a little girl in the backseat, it was me when I was little.
I opened the door and she reached her hands up to me, I picked her up and took her out of the car.
I turned around quickly and the woman who was originally driving was so close I could feel her breathing. The name "Jo ann Elizabeth" came to mind.
And I woke up.

surprise child

I'm at my grandmother's house, but the house is on the opposite side of the street (in waking life she lives across the street from a cemetery).
There are a bunch of little children running around playing in the flowers and rolling down the grassy hills. I'm sitting under a tree, tying one of their shoes.
One of my good friend's sisters pulls into the drive way all the children flock to her, there are 6 of them.
One by one they pile into her van, waving, I keep ringing my hands on a small soft plaid blanket.
It feels velvety. There's a little boy at the bottom of the hill sitting facing away from me.
I yell to my friend's sister jokingly "You forgot one of these kids of yours!"
My boyfriend yells out my grandmother's kitchen window at me "Not him, that one is ours."
I feel unaware, and walk toward the little boy but I wake up.

New moon in Taurus- Right or Left. Each way I turn, live for what? Love or Death? Blanket me in stars and shimmer my being into this rainbow lust. I place my palm on the ground to feel your vibration. The soft hum of the nation, our world and the crystallized cocoons that are ready to breakaway.
I forgot that all this time I was an encased pupa, with healing soft wings.
I feel them trying to tear them off my back. But they don't realize they can't. Poison powder will stop all the harsh words they speak. It'll fizzle and fade. And the sun will come and we'll forget, when the rain washes them all away.
Wake up. Renew.