Tuesday, December 28, 2010

he knew me best...

The tide hasn't even come yet. Water logged and I think this time we're all fucking going down. I rather have rusted brass than thier sunken treasure. I rather be swept undertow... Smeared spirals don't say a fuckin thing to me.

Monday, December 27, 2010


Prelude and the Eclipse.
Now she is a waxing moon with Fire infused veins.
Running with pupils dialated- even in the Sun light.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Dream: Be Alive

Sleep paralysis is happening again. I seem to have a feeling it has something to do with my ex.

I'm laying in bed, my room is exactly as it was before I laid down. I can clearly see my sheets. The light from my fish tank, my closet door opened a crack, my bedroom door is open and the house is dark, I can see into the hall. A woman is standing in my door way, she is almost made out of static.
I can't move, I want to speak, who are you I want to ask.
She crawls onto my bed, on top of me, I feel her weight I close my eyes tight trying to will myself to wake. I feel her breath on my face she whispers "Be Alive".
I barely squeak out with less than any voice "Xiixii" (which is my cat's name Z-Z).
Xiixii jumps on the bed and wakes me up.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Space leads to Gardens

David and I were sitting on stairs to some porch.
We had distance between us and I reached my hand over and he stood up and went inside.
I felt upset and confused but then he came back out and got me.
We went inside to a room that looked like it was part of space almost.
The floor and walls and ceiling just kind of blended.
He kept turning and waiting for me to follow.
I was going slow though because i was frightened of falling into the space.
Finally he reached over and just held my hand and we walked at the same pace to a random door.
He told me that we have to open some doors together and by opening them alone we only create more space. So we both looked at each other and kissed him.
The door opened and we were in a beautiful big backyard with a tree and flowers and green grass and it was beautiful.

Waking up I missed him and would get angry at myself because I felt I was still sitting on the stairs at that point..