I constantly feel like I'm missing something; like there's a step I skipped.
I feel paranoid, like someone is following so closely on my coat tails that they will switch places with me and take everything that I love.
Or that they were there first but were transparent and are trying to become more vivid than I am,
in my time of dreary colors and crawling away from things so they won't notice me slip out to make a new life.
I want something real to come from this, but my heart laughs in my face.
It opens up devours me and then vomits me out to let me look as pathetic as humanly possible.
He just looks at me.
I can never tell how he really feels about me.
I fear that I'm the only one feeling so strongly.
Wanting so much... looking forward.


You told me I could open up, just be myself.... and it's okay to be scared because falling in love is a risk.
I guess I just thought it was going to continue to be a two way road... not just me driving in circles, wondering.
Sometimes when I look you in the eyes I feel like I could give you the world.
And other times I feel like you're telling me to not bother. Those are the days I don't want to get out of bed.
I cover my head with the sheets to drown out the world, because what's the use in my having it, if I can't use it?