I remember wading in the stagnant paralysis; of unknowing which way to swim. When you tip toe over rocks to lose your footing on the mossy undergrowth of what you've renamed "fear". You forget how quickly the water moves, how quickly life passes you by, and how you learn to hold your breath longer than physically possible while you entrance yourself into the spiritual realm of "not letting go" of what you need, but dispersing not just items of non- necessity, but also of people.
I release the hand of those who will not help themselves. Not because I want to, but because I have to. I release being the outlet of negativity for those people and the darkness that dwells inside themselves.
I too know that place, I used to live there; but for entirely different reasons.
My self hatred was because I loved too deeply. I'm turning that around. Spiraling through this waterfall of self discovery. I can now love myself.