Rabid release

It felt like pulling teeth. I dragged you across years, the time frame was off.
My watch had broke before I even met you.
I had a destiny etched into my hand that I kept hidden.
reaching out and shaking hands I oft met smooth handed individuals.
That doesn't mean they didn't have stories, it just meant that theirs no longer created friction with mine, without friction meant to be without growth.
I released you and momentarily you stood still, I waved hands that quickly sewed up little pillow clouds.
I can't let it go, I can't do that, to someone.
I closed each time I watched you gnash, rabidly sneering my name, side glancing at me, to make sure you could watch my reaction to you tearing me in every god damn direction.
I bit my lip, I nodded to let you know.
Within moments you'd be circling me, coaxing, kicking up dust I'd spent my time calming.
My breathing heavy, my eyes heavy, my magic felt darkened.
I would swallow down handfuls of opportunities to defend myself my actions, my integrity.
Until they started to notice how my brow was at a furrow that fake smiles couldn't cover.
What is going on? I thought...
Like throwing sparklers to the ground, each neon ember to catch fire to the words you spoke badly.
they held my head to make me count all the times.
Who was there to comfort now, these burns, my hands putting out each flames, making excuses for you, for us.
I took the smoke and cleansed myself, my being, my surroundings.
In two weeks time I'll come to a clearing.
until then....

S.M.
jan 15