I stood on a line in my mind.
One you created, one that I acknowledge for you, though I swore to never allow walls to remain.
Whatever brought you safety, I was accepting of.
I watched through seasons change and you'd push and pull, push and pull, push and pull.
My body bruised.
Breathless.
But never lifeless.
I revisit my own self care when you do your dance.
I've found rhythm there.
The way your eyes change, the things that make you tender.
The way you build walls to watch me destroy them, with faith that I will.

Your jaw clenched as my shaky small voice choked on tears while demanding my sanity.
My head was reeling, you had been holding my hand and I was the one that pulled away.
I was stuck on this metaphorical line, one only you could remove.
You watched for the first time as my mind and my heart tried like hell to reconcile by muffling one another.
All stars with wide eyes and mouths in awe whispering in unison while watching, "shhhh" blew the winds.
You stood like a pillar, some muse of mine, some sun god I've accredited you with all the love in the fucking world.
Because I want you to match what I have to offer, because I know you are capable, like no other.

Your cigarette smoking spiraling in soft purple plumes.
Your eyes soften and you kick your own wall in to pick me up.
I remember fragments before my mind spirals up with those plumes into an oscillating fraction of the universe that I am coaxed into,
as I fall in lawns and you hold me as my body purges the last however many months that I've fed off mixed energy.
Forcing hydration and warmth.
Even while parts of me are being removed from this plane you do not realize how this is part of something so much larger.
But you do, because we've been here before.
You told me so.

You breathe into me new life in the morning.