sometimes

Fingers finding their way through the skin of my rib cage.
I can not breathe here please take me away.
I'm sleeping all day, stuck in dreams.
Why are you dragging me along?
Why are you claiming my love?
I am running for my life, in fields of flowers and sun, and there is no end in sight.
I am the morning sun rise to the flickering lightening bugs at night.
You know I own this life.
She says she doesn't think you're playing games.
I made a list, I crossed off names.
I handed my thoughts to her.
Pressing heavy on her chest and I felt guilt in needing to reach.
So I retracted my hands, I tucked them in my pockets.
I took out my pen and and I scribbled until my heart bled from ink.
I said, I'll say no from now on.
If I'm not wanted why do I run to arms that hold.
Why do they hold? Why do I melt inside?

Staring at cracks in ceilings and letting you undress me, more than my clothing,
but all masks I ever wore.
I don't even care if I just become your flighty, running, fantasty whore.
With fluttering lashes that blink and in my heart, we sink.
Oh safety.
Longing for more, for all the plans I had for you.
For the thoughts that died in my womb.
"I need space, I need room."
I'll give you galaxies.
I build castles in your wake.
All the tallest trees hear my call and the earth begins to shake.
I part oceans, I thread light to fabric to cover you and keep you warm.
I hold you in my arms and will take away all the bad and only give you light.
I open doors and I walk away in waiting.
I can not breathe here, please take me away.

I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry, love.
I'm not sure I can stay.
I already took your magic away.
You can earn it back within time.
But not until then.
Heavy on my tongue, the word No.
A shaking head and her eyes say "I told you so."
I press my fingers into my rib cage to counteract your touch.
I never even needed much.
I asked for love and time.
Never demanding, instead I gave you mine.
Now I'm walking on see-through strings.
Now you hear, from across the mountains, the way my heart still sings.
I float in raging rivers. 
Piano keys plinking and I requested one last song.
Sun casting shadows to choreograph graceful movements.
As your hair falls in my face.
I held back all the tears that wanted to pour from my eyes.

Why do you open me so?
If you are too afraid to fill me.
New moon, bleed soon.
I can not breathe here.
Please take me away.